Kill or be Killed
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Tired of the Status Quo? Angst, what angst? Hero no-kill codes? Well, look no further! Slendrman has just killed the ideas of those things for this story! And is so eager to teach Ezra and her twin children the concept of 'Kill or be killed'. Inspired by Emma Iveli. Post Edolas Arc. AU! Dipper X Harem. Mable X ?
1. Chapter 1

**Kill or be killed**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

Ezra Scarlet groaned as she was flung from the portal...she tried frantically to stand up...she shook her head...the travel made her dizzy...what...why...was she here? Where was her friends...the fairy tale guild hall...the last thing she remembered...

 _"Gray...you striped again." "Dang it!" Shouted Gray. "What do I have to do to stop this?!" "Perhaps I can be of assistance" Gray turned to see a very normal looking man._

Yes...yes, it was all coming back to her...the man put a spell on Gray...said it would give him the 'encouragement' he needed to stop stripping...and then...the next time he striped-

 _CRACK! Everyone turned and watched in horror as kindly woman's neck snapped in two. "What happened!? What did this!?" Shouted Lucy._

 _"Why, Gray of course." Said the man from before. "My curse will activate every time he strips. One strip equals one kill of an innocent bystanderd...good old negative reinforcement." The man sipped his wine, while the guild looked at him horrified. "Oh, did I not mention that?" He asked in mock surprise with a wicked grin..._

The guild...the guild demanded that he release his curse...he refused...so they counterattacked!

 _"Release our friend of this curse before we end you!" Shouted Elfman as he tried to punch him out- Only to gasp in surprise as his punch is easily stopped by the man..._

 _"End?...the only thing that shall end is your high-and-mighty 'no-kill code'. Said the man- No, not man. His disguise fell away to reveal the monster beneath. **Shall we play a game?...**_

Ezra remembered! She remembered now! The guild tried to fight him...but they- they just couldn't! his power was too great! He swept them aside like their were ants! and then Lucy showed up with her spirits...

 _Aquarius looked down at the heart that had just been ripped from her chest.. "How- Not...possible..." And with that...she crumbled to dust...dead to the world... "AQUARIUS!" Screamed Lucy in tears._

 _Ezra had grown deathly pale..a Celestial spirit had died...the fact it was impossible didn't change the fact that it had. She knew then that they couldn't fight this monster- "EVERYONE RUN!"_

But they didn't get too far...the monster made sure of that...

 ** _Hello people of this fair city!_** _Shouted the monster floating high above the city._ ** _In this corner we have Fairy Tail! Hero's who refuse to kill others no matter how much they deserve it! Up until now...against all logic and reason, that strategy has worked...not today!_** _He points to another corner._ ** _For in this corner lies several hundred murders, rapists, and looters! Recently freed from jail by yours truly; I've not only offered a large bounty if they destroy this city...but made them immune to all non-lethal magic!_**

 _He then turns triumphantly to the guild. **What'll it be amigos? Abandone your 'no kill' code? Or let die the innocent people who allow you to live here?**_

 _The guild just glared at him determined. Natsu in particular. "We won't-_

 _ **Blah! Blah! power friendship! Blah! Blah! The bonds we all share! Blah! Blah! You won't get away with this! Mocked the monster. Dose that about sum up that little speech you were about to spout?**_

 _Natsu was thrown by this. "Uh...kinda?" He admitted reluctantly..._

 _The monster laughed. **Well...with confidence like that ...how can I not up the ante?** With a snap of his fingers; Marvelous Wendy appeared in mid-air strapped to an electric chair._

 _"WENDY!" Screamed the entire guild. The monster laughed as the girls struggled fruitlessly against her restraints. He then ripped out her magic, causing Marvelous to scream in pain._

 _ **Here's how this works: This device is hooked up to a heart monitor; which is in turn linked to all those killers out there...with every heartbeat, she gets a shock! Meaning: if even one of them lives; she dies! And don't try to put them into cardiac arrest or anything like that! I just burnt down the Arkham universe! I know all the tricks!**_

 _The guild could only watch in horror as their friend began to scream in pain...and the gang of killers began to flood the town..._

Ezra was in tears now..she remembered it all! They tried everything; knocking the raiders unconscious- the monster just healed and woke them up! Try to imprison them- The monster just destroyed their confinement! Trying to get to Marvelous directly- He knocked them away and laughed! Put them into some form of death-like coma- And the chair only increased it's voltage! In the end...

 _The monster held the charred hand of Marvelous's corpse up and checked the pulse. **Time of death: the same time the city got burnt down.** Indeed, the city was no in flames- "YOU ANIMAL!" Screamed Ezra as she lunged at him- Only to be grabbed by the throat. _

_**Hey, I'm not the one who choose their honor over the lives of innocents! So who's the real monster here!?** He frowned at this thoughtfully. **Well, actually- I guess that's STILL me...but I'm pretty sure this still counts as a 'What the hell hero' for you.** He activates a portal beneath them and dangles her over it. **I'm going to enjoy breaking your friends..as for you...I have bigger plans...TTFN.** Mocked the monster as he dropped her into the portal..._

"And now...now I'm here...wait, where is here?" Asks Ezra out loud. "Uh...I was actually hoping you could tell me?" Said a voice behind her.

She turns around to see a guy her age. She points a sword at him. "Who are you!?" She demanded. The guy held up his hands startled. "Whoa! My name is Tom Pines! I was in my home in Piedmont California when-

 **SQUICK!**

Tom looked down at the Claws that just popped through his stomach. **Goodbye Tom, you've served your purpose here.** Said the monster as it threw the dead man to her feet. He laughs at Ezra. **Enjoy the meal! Consider it my way of welcoming you to the Gravity Falls universe!**

Ezra turns green. "What!? No! I'm not eating a corpse!" She shouts. The monster just snaps his fingers; opening a portal showing a bus full of children..SET ON FIRE!

 **The fire is charmed to die out with every piece of this man that gets eaten...those kids will die in 5 minutes; so I'd hurry. Chop. Chop.** Said the monster dismissively as he walked through another portal.

Knowing she had no choice...a tearful Ezra began...eating...she tried to focus on the screams of the children...and not on what she was tasting...

"Y-your a monster." She wept. He chuckled. **Please...call me Slenderman.** Pausing only long enough to discretely put a spell on the dead mans blood as it entered Ezra's stomach...he vanished...

…...  
TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

kill or be killed ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

Slenderman turned to the reader. **Right, well Ezra is still...digesting. In the meantime it's come to my attention that I could've handled chapter one better. So here yah go! A flashback with the rap stylings of 'JT Machinima'!**

...Flashback...

Everyone in the guild watched in horror at the monster that just knocked away Elfman, it's very presence felt WRONG...in fact, just staring at this creature made them feel dirty...

Makarov Dreyar glared at the abomination in anger. "Demon! Why are you here!?"

The demon 'smirked' -How he was able to do that with no face, no one (not even the people looking directly at him!) could tell...but everyone agreed: it was disturbing to see- **Well, I did consider murdering Lisanna. Take her place and sow discord and lies throughout your ranks, maybe have you betray and kick Lucy out of the guild...but then I thought 'Eh, it's been done.'**

"Wait, what!?" Shouted Lucy confused. The monster ignored her. **Sooo instead I think i'll do a musical number!**

"Wait, what!?" Shouted everyone. The monster simply tossed a coin into a juke box...and the music started... "When did we get a juke-box?" Asked Gray. The creature ignored him and began to sing:

 **You Good guys are overrated!**  
 **I mean look at this out-of-work Dragon slayer**  
 **Who spends less time saving the girl**  
 **Than he does munchin' on meat!**

"Hey!" Shouted Natsu as he rounded on him with a fist full of flame-

 **You must be trippin' out your mind**  
 **If you're gonna mess around with this celestial Browser**  
 **The fire-breathing King Crapper**

The creature dodges and craps fire on Natsu and for the first time ever...Natsu is burnt...the fires wouldn't obey! His MAGIC wouldn't obey!

 **Screw your flower power!**  
 **Step in my castle, you'll get bashed**  
 **Burned, beat and destroyed**  
 **I mean, monsters like me are the only reason heros are even employed!**

Gray ran at him, ice blast at ready-

 **I smell some Combat goin' down!**  
 **If you pick a fight with me at dawn,**  
 **Then you know I'm gonna smack you around!**

Gray felt his power ripped from him, and the creature beat him at a speed he couldn't even HOPE to match!

 **Now I'm a weapon that you should fear**

The creature cocked it's (for lack of a better word) 'ear'-

 **"FINISH HIM!"**

-He then snapped Gary's spine on his leg!

 **That's the last thing that you'll ever hear!**

"GRAY!" Screamed Juvia as she ran toward the creature in fury-

 **No God or King, only a twisted man.**  
 **Parasites you better scram!**  
 **It's me comin' at ya-**

Juvia found her water disobeying her! Freezing her! She was now solid ice!

 **When you got no hope I'll give you rapture**  
 **A man chooses but a slave obeys**  
 **Now Would You Kindly make the choice-**

He butted Juvia's head, shattering her to pieces-

 **To get the fuck out my way?**

Ezra Requiped Armadura Fairy and charged-

 **"Chorus time!"** Shouts the creature as he effortlessly curb stomps her and shatters her armor-

 **I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell**  
 **I may be bad, but I do it so well**  
 **I'm half the reason stories like this even sell**  
 **Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!**

Lucy quickly summons Aquarious- Only for her to be immediately grabbed and immobilized for the creature

 **Don't get me started on this little moronic**  
 **This girl is awful obnoxious**

"HEY!" Shouts Lucy as she tries to force close Aquarious's gate- to no avail

 **It won't be long before I build a device-**

He creates a strange blade from nothing-

 **That's gonna show you how fast she can run for her life!**

-And then plunges it into Aquarious's body and uses it to rip out her heart.

Aquarius looked down at the heart that had just been ripped from her chest.. "How- Not...possible..." And with that...she crumbled to dust...dead to the world... "AQUARIUS!" Screamed Lucy in tears.

Ezra had grown deathly pale..a Celestial spirit had died...the fact it was impossible didn't change the fact that it had. She knew then that they couldn't fight this monster- "EVERYONE RUN!"

But no one could hear her over the din of the music, Now it was Mirajane's turn!

 **All hail the world eater, first-born of me!**

The creature sings as he gives a Nazi salute-

 **Gorging on your mortal souls, I crunch your Nordic demon gods!**

He completely crushes Mirajane and her 'Satan Soul: Sitri'

"Wait, I'm not a Nordic- Well, anything." Said a confused Mirajane. **"Look, it's hard to do a parody, alright? Just roll with it!"** Shouts the creature impatiently.

 **Whether you're man or mere mortal, you know I'll feed on you**  
 **All the people feel my Thumb, and, meet your doom!**

He smacks a couple other guild members around with his thumb...and sighs. " **Yeah, okay that was painfully horrible stretch of a rhyme. My bad."** Admits the creature, only to then quickly grab a dive-bombing Happy-

 **Talk about an appetite**  
 **You know I'll eat anything in sight!**

He emphases this by biting off the Exceeds head-

"HAPPY!" Screamed everyone in horror.

 **"Yuck! Terrible!"** Shouts the creature as he spits out the gray matter and stomps on the poor cats body for good measure

 **Good luck finishing the fight**  
 **You can say goodbye to Exceed life!**

He then zaps every Exceed in the world with a dark curse-

 **Survival is the only rule that I play by**  
 **That's why you don't go striking up a deal with me in mind!**

Everyone can only watch helplessly as the exceeds are filled with a mad desire to eat each other...

 **I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell**  
 **I may be bad, but I do it so well**

All their magic, even physically trying to stop them is repelled...

 **I'm half the reason stories like this even sell**  
 **Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!**

Soon only a horrified Carla is left, and she's infected with the greatest madness of all...'Self-cannibalism

 **You know I'm the 'man' you gotta work for-**  
 **But only if you wanna start another world war!**

ENOUGH! THIS MADNESS ENDS NOW! FAIRY LAW!

Shouts Makarov as he sends his most powerful magic toward the seemingly unconcerned creature-

 **Even when you think you've got a true friend-**

He slaps the blast away as if it were nothing, before teleporting behind the old man and bitch-slapping him unconscious-

 **All you are is one less loose end...**

All the remaining guild Members throw everything they have at him...but he just laughs, ignores them and keeps singing...

 **I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell**  
 **I may be bad, but I do it so well**  
 **I'm half the reason stories like this even sell**  
 **Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!**

Gildarts frantically pounded on him...but his magic wasn't working! He couldn't shatter him! He was too powerful!

 **It ain't cake that this baddie wants to feed to you**  
 **Just open your eyes and then you'll see the truth**

The creature snapped his fingers, and suddenly Gildarts own magic turned against him! He screamed as his arms shattered!

 **I'm one of the baddest girls you've ever seen**

Everyone just looks in disbelief as the creature gives himself breasts and smoother's Gildarts unconscious...

 **My humanity is dead, all that's left is a Demon!**

Gajeel weeps over the remains of his partner Panther Lily. He glares up at the creature. "YOU JERK! I JUST GOT THIS CAT!" And shoots his iron dragon lance at him-

 **Clean-cut, calm, composed, and creepily cryptic**  
 **One look at me and you know I mean business!**

Gajeel pales as his lance crumbles to rust...as dose his arms...

 **I'm THE inter-dimensional molder of time. Smell the ashes, bitch?**

With a snap of his fingers he sets the guild house on fire.

 **"Rise and Shine"**

While everyone grabs their brutally injured comrades and the corpses of the Exceeds while fleeing...the creature continues to sing-

 **I'm not the good guy if you couldn't tell**  
 **I may be bad, but I do it so well**  
 **I'm half the reason stories like this even sell**  
 **Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!**

Grunkle Stan just watches all this on the monitor in the portal room.

"What the blood did I just watch?"

It's at that moment that Ezra and the bloody remains of his Nephew fall through the portal...and into his life...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: The song is a parody of 'Villians' by 'JT Machinima'**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
